THINGS LEARNED LIVING IN TEXAS

My sister, Joanna, sent this to me, and I thought it was funny (Plus, I'm totally lazy busy today and don't have time to write a real post.)

THINGS LEARNED LIVING IN TEXAS

• A possum is a flat animal that sleeps in the middle of the road.
  
  
• There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 of them live in Texas
  
  
• There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 of them live in Texas.
  
  
• If it grows, it'll stick ya. If it crawls, it'll bite cha.
  
  
• 'Jaw-P?' means, 'Did y'all go to the bathroom? (Very important phrase for Texas mothers embarking on a car trip.)
  
  
• There is no such thing as 'lunch.' There is only dinner and then there is supper.
  
  
• Iced tea is appropriate for all meals, and you start drinking it when you're two. We do like a little tea with our sugar.
  
  
• "Backwards and forwards" means "I know everything about you."
  
  
• The word 'jeet' is actually a phrase meaning, 'Did you eat?'
  
  
• You don't have to wear a watch, because it doesn't matter what time it is. You work until you're done or it's too dark to see.
  
  
• You measure distance in minutes. (more like hours) instead of miles.
  
  
• You switch from heat to A/C in the same day.
  
  
• You only own five spices: salt, pepper, Texas Pete, Tabasco and Ketchup.
  
  
• The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but require 6 pages for local gossip and high school football.
  
  
• You know all four seasons: Almost summer, summer, still summer, and Christmas.
  
  
• Fried catfish is the other white meat.